MUSSI CONSERVA EL SENTIDO DEL HUMOR

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Ayer, lunes 28 de diciembre, en el día de los inocentes, este CIB levantó una broma que llegó por las redes telefónicas y la convirtió en noticia: El intendente renunciaba.

El envió por whatsapp decía que era “para preservar su salud”, y así se publicó, pero minutos después concluimos que era más gracioso –y creíble– decir que se iba a divertir.

La foto junto a su mujer casi treinta años más joven validaba esa tradición. De modo que lo publicado aquí no era tan incierto: “DICEN que renunció”; gobierna desde 1987; está por cumplir 80 años el 9 de enero; con la funcionaria María del Carmen Flores son pareja desde hace más de once años; en su reemplazo debería asumir Carlos Balor y la versión generó un momento de algarabía en la oposición.

En fin, todas verdades; ninguna reprochable.

Sin embargo, algunos postularon que era de mal gusto; que nadie debería hacer bromas con el día de los inocentes porque la fecha recuerda una matanza de niños por orden de Herodes.

Si es por matanzas de niños no hay que irse muy lejos. En la Guerra de la Triple Alianza que diezmó a Paraguay, la Argentina fue cómplice indirecto de la Batalla de Acosta Ñu en la que el ejército de Brasil arremetió a caballo contra los únicos varones que quedaban del heroico pueblo paraguayo: los hijos.

Los militares atropellaron a caballo a pibes con las caras tiznadas, les cortaron las cabezas con sus sables e incendiaron la zona donde las madres intentaban curarlos. En memoria de aquel 16 de agosto de 1869, se recuerda el día del niño.

Hoy, a nadie se la ocurriría suspender la expectativa de nuestras criaturas bajo el argumento de que “es una fecha sagrada que recuerda una matanza y no motivo de festejo”.

Otras bromas inocentes

El 28 de diciembre de 2017, el facebook del programa radial La Guillotina posteó la nota «Murió Alberto Moya«. Muchos creyeron que la había publicado el otro periodista que aparecía en la foto, Ulises Caballero. La noticia recibida vía telefónica por parte de una productora radial, dejó a Víctor Alvero, de FM Sur, perplejo en medio de una plaza. Para confirmar la especie, el colega Roberto Carrigall llamó a Ulises, quien a su vez llamó a Moya, que lo atendió entre risotadas.

La nota no era falsa. En efecto, había muerto un Alberto Moya, pasajero de un taxi que chocó en Catamarca, pero no todos abrieron el link y no pudieron enterarse de la noticia completa. Se quedaron con el título.

Algo análogo ocurrió ayer en Berazategui, cuando un colega con mucha trayectoria llamó a la Municipalidad y se apuró a avisarnos en el grupo de whatsapp de periodistas que “Nada que ver, Alberto, lo acabo de confirmar”.

Los colegas con décadas de trabajo serio también supieron tener sentido del humor, el mismo que los lleva a publicar chistes o memes en sus medios serios. Alguna vez tenía que pasarle a ellos estar del otro lado del escenario.

Mussi, el más risueño

Menos mal que Mussi les gana a todos. El sí supo entender la alusión a su “vida privada” como “muy activa”, era un guiño a la cultura que pondera a los machos que salen con mujeres más jóvenes, a lo Anthony Quinn.

Tal vez por eso, o quizás porque ya está de vuelta de muchas batallas, es que no nos envió a Carlos Aicardi para que nos agarre a trompadas como hizo con otro periodista el 18 de agosto de 2000.

No intentaron matarme como cuando me dejaron chorreando sangre de la cabeza el 2 de septiembre de 1996 a las puertas de la Municipalidad.

No buscaron a nadie de este CIB para tirarlo desde varios metros de altura como hicieron en la asunción de autoridades en el Club Social el 10 de diciembre de 1995.

Ninguna patota municipal buscó quemar autos; ni amenazó a los auspiciantes; ni llamó a los hogares para decir que sabían dónde estudiaban sus hijos o por qué camino salía su mujer.

Tampoco apelaron a la censura económica que pretende quitarle la pauta publicitaria a un medio en pos de silenciar cualquier denuncia. Hace décadas que los periodista independientes sabemos que no vale la vena ni inscribirse en el registro de proveedores porque después todas esas décadas en las que siempre gobernó el mismo intendente, siempre quedó claro que era mejor no cobrar publicidad antes que aceptar cualquier silenciamiento.

Pero todo eso ha quedado en el pasado. Ahora, no es necesario apretar para callar a la prensa. Alcanza con dejar que sus amigos o infiltrados en otros partidos, como Marcos Cuellas o Gabriel Kunz, hagan de las suyas para tapar las macanas de Reina Tevez o Magoo Martino o tantos otros.

Y así, mientras los demás se pelean y recriminan entre ellos, JJ Mussi sale con quien fuera la joven secretaria de la entonces disidente concejal Elsa Chiche López; la hace trabajar para él con un sueldo secreto que pagamos todos; brindan con buenos vinos (mientras los demás no tenemos ni agua) y se ríe de todos nosotros.

El sí que tiene motivos para conservar el humor.

Si alguien dudaba acerca de la veracidad o no de una publicación en 28 de diciembre, que la inocencia le valga.


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